Born for Divorce?

I think I’m destined to be divorced. Even though I would love the commitment that marriage would bring. I look at my married friends with hope and admiration, but I still believe I'm destined to be a hot divorced diva. I would love to be proven wrong, but in the meantime, these are some of my thoughts:

1. I’m a star

I talk about this with my friends sometimes, and we’ve agreed that it takes a special type of person to be okay with being with someone who attracts a lot of attention and admiration. This isn’t a brag; I genuinely love being around people, and most people love being around me, too, and they love letting everyone know it. So, this person has to either wholeheartedly agree that I’m the most special person ever, or they have to be someone who shines in their own way and doesn’t care for the spotlight. Misogyny makes it difficult to love women who are stars because our first instinct is to put them down. Duh! So I could see myself being in a relationship with someone who is initially attracted to my energy until their envy eats at them and they realize that they don’t actually WANT me; they want to BE me. All of a sudden, they reveal all the things they hate about you, and you’re like, wait a minute…you hate that I’m cooler, hotter, and smarter than you. Sorry, babe, you can’t gain presence and light by osmosis and association; that’s work you have to do on your own time.

2. I’m a self-preservationist and selfish

Let’s pretend for a second that I’m the potential problem in this scenario (could never be true). I will always put myself first. There’s this video of Eartha Kitt that I adore and quote all the time. She cackles when asked about compromising for a man or for the sake of the relationship. She asks the question: “Compromise for what, for what reason?” and I live my life by that. In Gladys Knight’s “Midnight Train to Georgia”, she sings, “I’d rather live in his world than live without him in mine”. And ever since I was a teenager, I would change the lyrics to “I’d rather live in my world than live with him in his.” Romance is often an afterthought for me. I have big dreams, and I’m serious about making them a reality. I’m fulfilled by my work, and if pursuing it means that I’ll be alone, then I guess that’s what I’m here to do. I will always live in my world, but if someone wants to compromise and live in my world, then I won’t stop them.

3. I will only get richer and hotter with age.

Have you seen my grandma? Have you seen my mom? Okay, yeah, we’re getting a little weird here, but this one is a little self-explanatory. We age well in my family, and that’s rare. And I think I’m gonna cut myself off here before I read this back and get filled with self-loathing.

But I want to know your thoughts. Do you think you’ll get divorced? Do you want to get married? Do you want to get married to me?